Bye Bye Old House!

I am finished, everything is out of the old house, I had the inspection today with James the very nice maintenance guy, and I am done.

Here are a few photos of the things I loved about that house: The way the sunlight makes hopscotch patterns on the wood floors;the stone bench sitting beneath an old tree that probably sheltered two lovers flirting a century ago, but now sits next to the highway; the tree in the front and the way it seems to be stretching as high as it can to catch the blue sky in it's arms; and the holly tree outside my office window where the blue jays and cardinals screeched at each other in the winter. My first office, before I moved upstairs so I could have the view of the fields out back. I'll have to name someone Holly in the book, in honor of that tree.

Goodbye old house.

My Beautiful Peach

When everything around me is changing, my lovely Peach still looks at me like this everyday day.

Dementia

This is a photo taken of Mom and Dad when we went to WY in September 2007. It is the last time I remember Dad having all his mental capacities in tact. A few months after this trip we found out he had bladder cancer, then the liver cancer diagnosis, and from there on out it got progressively worse.

Today his doctor called me, very concerned, telling me something has to be done. It is dangerous for Mom and Dad to live alone without someone in charge of their medications. He wants to send a visiting nurse three days a week, who will be sure they are taking the right meds at the right times. But I have to talk to them first because twice before he sent nurses and Mom and Dad sent them away. The doctor also said he is starting Dad on the Alzheimer's medicine today.

Dad is used to being the smartest person in any room at any time. For the past 35 years he has been working on a theory that disputes Einstein's theory of relativity. I know this is harder for him than it is us. But of all the bad things going on in his life, this is the one that makes me the angriest.

I love you, Dad, and I'm sorry it has to be this way.

Just Me and The Girls

So now its just me and the girls. Me, Peach and Scout. James left a little while ago. The sun is shining and my new cottage is filled with light. I have mixed feelings, but of course the emotion closest to the surface is a sense of sadness over James moving to his Dad's house. I know it is the right thing, I know it is for the best, I know good will come of it. But it is still sad. To me, anyway.

I'll write more later. I'm so tired I am going to lay on the couch like a vegetable with the remote in hand and learn my new channels.

I miss you James.

Old View New View

So here is the old view:







And here is the new view.


It doesn't seem much different does it? I guess I am a creature of habit. I like views of nature, I like peace, and this may very well be my East Coast meadow.




Here is an additional window to the left of my desk, that looks out to an area about 15' square. On the other side is a white brick wall, so it has sort of a Secret Garden feel to it. Right now the earth is dug up because they had to fix a pipe underground, but I am going to ask if I can plant some flowers there. Maybe my Wyoming Bluebells will grow here!

The Surprise

New house from the back at night. It surprised me when I went to walk the dogs, it looks like a mountain retreat! Just imagine, my very own Wyoming right here in Silver Spring!

More tomorrow after rest.

More Favorite Photos

There are so many more and when I have more time I will upload them all, but I finally found my favorite photo of all time (that I took) today. The chipmunks from Schwabacher's Landing, August 2003 on our first trip.

Another favorite memory.

When God Closes a Door

This is the home I am leaving. I've only been here for one year, but I have some wonderful memories. Mostly of James and I being here together, the Columbia girls coming over and the dogs in the fields out back.

But one very important memory that I will always treasure, is what we now refer to in my family as The Front Porch Meeting. It was the day all six of us were together with Mom and Dad for the first time since their 50th wedding anniversary celebration in 2001. We all sat on the front porch on a glorious November day, just a few days before Dad found out he had liver cancer. We came together to discuss options for them, and mainly to make Mom feel like she had somewhere to go when dad is gone.

It was a magnificent day, and I think probably one of Mom and Dad's favorite days of their lives. They are still talking about it.

Old Photos

Oh my oh my.... so many photos I have come across. I shouldn't be blogging right now, I should be sorting and packing and cleaning and packing some more. But I found this photo and had to upload it. This was taken on one of my favorite days ever. It was a snow day for the kids and Craig drove up from VA, so the four of us went sledding at the hill behind the Ashton Pool. Afterwords we went home and had hot chocolate.

Between Parker, James and I we all agree this is one of our most special memories. Isn't it amazing how the best times, the best memories, come from the most simple things like hot chocolate and sledding on a bonus day home from work. :-)

Packing Up Memories

While packing tonight I came across several items that made me smile a little, cry a little, and thank God for memories. Dad gave me this porcelain lady when they were moving away from Houston and John and I were going to live in the house to sell it. It was a gift to me that I treasure, right up there with the secretary.

Moving is so emotional, so cleansing, so revealing.

Disappointment

I called Mom and Dad tonight, all excited about signing the lease on my new house, and I think Mom may have been drinking. If not she is definitely in the depression part of her bipolarity. It was a horrible conversation, she moaned and groaned about so many things that were wrong and I never got in one word about my new cottage and how excited I am to be moving this weekend to a place so filled with light. Her rambling reminded me that I probably should be moving up there instead of into my own place, but I can't see that solving the problems they have right now.

Anyway, I am selfish in this statement, I know, but I really wish I could have had a happy, excited person at the other end of the phone who would add to my enthusiasm instead of putting a damper on one of the most exciting things in my life.

Okay I'll stop whining now.

Blue Iris and White Lilies

I called Dad this morning and listened to him talk about how the doctors really don't know what's wrong with his legs and so he doesn't think he is going to do much of what they said. I can feel the back of my neck and my shoulders tighten. Not because I am angry, but because I am sad. I know his body is shutting down, and it is taking his brilliant mind along on the journey. The mind that has been the most constant thing in my life.

I go downstairs for more coffee and see that the lovely blue iris and white lilies I brought home from work yesterday have begun to open, and I smile. I will forever see my father's face in flowers as lovely as these.

I am grateful God is so willing to show me the way.

The Grinch Who Hates Valentine's

I'm so weary tonight and my feet are killing me. I never was big on Valentine's Day anyway, but tonight I wish St. Valentine had rotted in jail! Ouch! I'm 51 years old. Maybe I'm too old for this?

Me and Dad

Me and my Dad, summer 2008. My best friend, my hero. This blog is dedicated to you.